LEFT FOR THE RIGHT ONE
7-11-98
M******,
How are you? How is your summer in Florida going? I got your letter and I was very touched by it as well as by the message you left on the fourth of july. My summer has been going pretty well. I have been hanging out with e***** a lot. I think I am falling in love with him to be completely honest with you. I know that I will always have love for you and you will for me too. But I just dont know if we can remain friends. I would really like it if could. I just hope that you are still willing to be my friend. I dont know what i am saying anymore. I just dont want you nor i to feel bad anymore. I want to get over this hump so I could fill these pages with everything that's been on my mind lately because I still feel really close to you. Please write me back and tell me you are doing well and that you are getting more comfortable and better at your writing. Your happiness means the world to me. If you cant do that then write me back anyway because I love you and care about you a lot. By the way I am getting on my 3rd day without a drag of the old nicotine. Its extremely hard quitting yet so simple.
Love,
L***
7-11-98
M******,
How are you? How is your summer in Florida going? I got your letter and I was very touched by it as well as by the message you left on the fourth of july. My summer has been going pretty well. I have been hanging out with e***** a lot. I think I am falling in love with him to be completely honest with you. I know that I will always have love for you and you will for me too. But I just dont know if we can remain friends. I would really like it if could. I just hope that you are still willing to be my friend. I dont know what i am saying anymore. I just dont want you nor i to feel bad anymore. I want to get over this hump so I could fill these pages with everything that's been on my mind lately because I still feel really close to you. Please write me back and tell me you are doing well and that you are getting more comfortable and better at your writing. Your happiness means the world to me. If you cant do that then write me back anyway because I love you and care about you a lot. By the way I am getting on my 3rd day without a drag of the old nicotine. Its extremely hard quitting yet so simple.
Love,
L***
Like a fool i stayed awake and watched Blue Valentine and all I could do was think of my heart and how it just runs to you when I can't sleep, when I watch a movie that ends with a man walking into an apocalypse. I feel like putting my wedding ring on and I know I wont but still I think back and maybe am grateful that we didnt get to a point where we hated each other.
Oh God I cant stop these tears, maybe you did hate me. Maybe thats what Im realising all this pain in my heart is. Hyperventilating still, how does my movie end. I dont like this at all. I feel like I dont know what happened to me. I just got left alone, outside, without any answwers an